An American man and a French woman meet in a bus, and they fall for each other like the movie “Before Sunrise.” Well, some might shake it off as a typical Hollywood romantic movie as this is not what is actually supposed to happen. We cannot expect it to be more than just a one-night stand.
“Hookups” or “one-night stands” are gradually becoming deep-seated trend in today’s culture, pointing toward both advanced sexual preferences and mutating social scripts. Hookup activity is a wider term which may include a range of sexual behaviors like kissing, oral sex or penetrative sex. However, all these activities are often carried out without a promise or desire of having a sugary romantic relationship.
Trends in US
These off-the-cuff encounters are becoming more and more run-of-the-mill affair among the youth in North America, signifying a marked shift in acceptance of casual sex. In a survey conducted on 25,000 men and women in America, 66% of single men and 50% of single women have admitted that they’ve had engaged in casual sex for once or more than once in life. In the movie No Strings Attached, Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher are going for unattached sex as two friends, who agree to sexual but prosaic relationship with each other, clearly attests the presence of the hookup culture among youth. It is the advent of hookup culture, where sexuality is unglued completely from romance. Over the last three years, the percentage of users who have used online dating websites to get laid has doubled since 2012.
Why such numbers: Role of dating apps
The number of people opting for uncommitted sex is soaring up and the blame can be laid partially on the casual dating apps like Tinder and Match.com, where finding a potential sexual partner is easier than finding one in your own social circle. Most of the people admitted having used the casual dating websites to hook up with random people just to satiate their sexual needs.
The trends went up also because of commitment phobia that have developed among the adolescence of today’s era. Being picky and unwilling to settle, they are alarmed by any sort of commitment that comes along their way. They truly enjoy pursuing the person they like, until they have them under their sheets. Days, where people are imagining a single person as their partner for life, have become a hopeless fantasy, observing the present world scenario.
Science behind hookups — Men vs. Women
On a survey conducted on more than 330 people, in the age group between 17 and 40, more than half of them acknowledged being in a one-night stand for once. But to our surprise, women displayed more negative feelings toward casual sex than men did. More than 80% of men had a pleasant and positive feeling about one-night stand while only 54% of women felt happy about their venture. Women reported lousy and detestable feelings about themselves the morning after they had casual sex. Some made additional comments like, “I felt cheap and horrified afterwards.” Most of the women went for a one-night stand to feel wanted and desirable though for a single night.
On the other hand, men pursued uncommitted sex for mere sexual satiation. They didn’t view it as a prologue to a long term relationship. Men felt is as a success and found it sexually nourishing more than women did. The men who felt disgusted after the act was the one who had the prevailing tenor of loneliness or rebound of failed relationship.
As stated earlier, many people are left behind with hurt feelings the morning after the casual sex. For people who have unrealistic expectations from a random sex are often left with a bad aftertaste. They feel morally exploited. They feel cheated and some might even fall in love with their anonymous sexual partner while their partner feeling none as such about them. 3 out of 10 women and 1 out of 10 men have admitted that they fell in love with their mate during the act.
Another yet significant drawback of casual is that you don’t know anything about the person you’re in bed with. Sounds exciting? Think again. What if the person is infected by any sexually transmitted disease? Not knowing the sexual background of your mating partner increases the vulnerability of you catching the unwanted infections. Using condom might seem to be your guard against STDs but FYI, there are certain STDs which can be transmitted by kissing too. Human Papillomavirus being one of them.
All these trends are reducing sexuality into a mere physical activity without any emotional connect. It’s more like a mutual masturbation.
The benefit of hooking up with a totally random person is that you are not emotionally attached to the person. No emotional attachment can ensure a no-drama fully satisfying sexual relationship with a totally random person. Some even find the feeling of liberation as one of the pros attached to the uncommitted sex. People who have gone through a rough break-up in their relationship, find it very therapeutic to indulge into coital acts with an anonymous person. Moreover, like any other need, the physical need is indispensable of all. At a certain age, our body needs to be sexually satisfied. And it is healthy to be sexually active, but don’t forgive to put your safety guards on!
Neither white nor black, it’s gray!
The core virtue of life is to learn to take the bad with the good. All the pros and cons can perceive differently by different people who are reading this write-up. One-night stands are not necessarily bad at all but saying that it is all good won’t be right either. It’s neither white nor black, it’s gray, actually! It’s the perception of a person, which decide whether to take it as a white or a black. Casual sex, hook-ups, uncommitted sex, friends with benefits, etc. all spell warning but also logic. Caution for not getting emotionally attached with someone who’s not into you and logic that the mere physical act between two bodies can entwine their soul as well. Before jumping into hook-up culture just because it’s a hot trend, just think twice and be thorough about the after effects of sleeping with the totally random person.
Remember, it’s all about how you perceive it. You have to take the roughs with the smooths when you are willing to get yourself into this.